PEOPLE WHO WRITE ABOUT THE 90S INTERNET AND HOW CYBERSPACE WAS THIS CRAZY SPACE BACK IN THE DAY

OK I WANT TO KNOW I REALLY WANT TO KNOW

DID THEY ACTUALLY LIVE IT? WERE THEY IN THOSE CYBERSPACES? WERE THEY THOSE PRE/TEENS ACTING AS VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS AS VAMPIRE VERSIONS OF THEIR FAVORITE DRAGON BALL Z CHARACTER, ROLE PLAYING AT ELITE CHATROOM POOLS WITH DEPRESSED BOYS N GIRLS LIVING IN IRL ISOLATION?
THE TEXT BASED INTERNET WHEN A SINGLE SCANNED IMAGE OF YOURSELF WAS ALL YOU NEEDED TO SETTLE AN OCCASIONAL TRIFLE, WHICH ON A CATHOLIC SCHOOLYARD WOULD BE SETTLED WITH ‘I SWEAR ON THE CROSS’

THE TEXT BASED INTERNET WHERE YOU GOT REALLY EMOTIONALLY TIED UP AND HAD REAL RELATIONSHIP OBLIGATIONS THAT WERE FUCKING YOUR IRL LIFE UP SO MUCH THAT WHEN YOUR IC (IN CHARACTER) SELF ATTEMPTED TO KILL HERSELF IN A BLAZE OF WORLD-ENDING GLORY (SO YOU COULD LEAVE THE GAME AND RECLAIM YOUR IRL SELFHOOD), THE GOD EMPEROR PULLED OUT ALL THE FREEZA-STYLE STOPS & SHAMING WARRIOR RHETORIC TO STAY YOUR HAND AND THEN HIS MUN (CHARACTER PLAYER) ACCUSED YOU OF ACTING OOC (OUT OF CHARACTER).

CYBERFEMINISM?

CYBORG THEORY?

WHAT IS ACADEMIC JARGON COMPARED TO A LIFE IN THE CHATROOM, THE WOMB? THE VIRTUAL STOOP, THE AGGRESSIVE VIOLENCE OF THE BLOCK, THE PROVE YOURSELF TO ME SURVIVAL LIFESTYLE CONTINUED

BUT WITH A STORYLIKE PROFILE, WITH A 99WPM TYPING SPEED FOR BATTLE, WITH A COMMAND OF VOCABULARY TO DESCRIBE THE MAGNIFICENCE OF YOUR VIRTUAL SELF AS IT ENTERED THE TAVERN

WHAT IS 90S CYBERSPACE TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER HAD CYBERSEX WITH A STRANGER WITH THE RIGHT PROFILE? A BORING PEDOFILE CREEP? WHILE PRETENDING TO HAVE LIMBS AND EROGENOUS ZONES UNKNOWN TO YOUR PHYSICAL BODY?

WHAT WERE THESE CYBERFEMINIST ACADEMICS DOING ON THE 1990S INTERNET?

WHY GLAZE OVER THE BASE? THE EMBARRASSING INTERNAL SEXUAL WORLD WHICH WAS THE NET? THE PREDECESSOR TO NOW? WHY FORGET THE MICRO GOVERNANCES & TRIBE LAWS OF AOL GUILDS? OF BULLETIN BOARDS AND FORUMS? OF MIRC? ::WONDERS WHY THEY NEVER MENTION ALL THE UNDERSTOOD RULES OF MARKING ACTION:: OR HOW THE CHATROOM COMMANDS DICTATED OUR BEHAVIORS? THE IMPORTANCE OF A FONT AND COLOR, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 10 CHARACTER AND 16 CHARACTER SCREENAMES? THE MALICIOUS TOS BOOT?

THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG?

[MUST BE THE LAG]

THE IRL LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALLS TO YOUR MUN FRIENDS…

ACADEMIA RECOUNTS NONE OF THIS BECAUSE ACADEMIA IS NOT ABLE TO COUNT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE

“THE NET IS VAST AND INFINITE” YET ONE CAN ONLY BUILD ARGUMENTS OFF OF WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN PROVEN, THE LARGE MAJORITY OF WHICH HAVING BEEN CONSTRUCTED BY STRAIGHT/CIS WHITE MEN, BENEFICIARIES OF ANGLOCENTRIC, COLONIALIST, PATRIARCHAL POWER DYNAMICS

AND NOW THEY WANT TO FOCUS ON WHAT IT IS TO BE A GIRL?

SO I WONDER WHERE ARE ALL MY FORMER SAIYAN WARRIORS, MY ANDROID COMRADES, MY VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE BRUJA FRIENDS, MY PUNK DORMITORY SAILOR SCOUTS AND ALT REALITY NINJA GOTHS, MY HALFLING SPACESHIP OPERATING BBOYS AND 6 FOOT TALL ELVEN DIVAS?
RIGHT. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE. LIVING THEIR LIVES. OUTSIDE OF THE IVORY TOWER.

WE HAVE TO SPEAK WITH NEW SYNTAXES TO TELL OUR STORIES.

3 Comments

  1. PrentiouslyBoring

    This is exactly what I needed. It’s hard to explain to those that weren’t there. Somewhere around when the proper social network showed up, this life disappeared. It was waning at the advent of Myspace, but Facebook killed the part of me that kept me sane irl. My online self–separate from the drudgery and bounds of life–was ripped from me. Why rp on a message board when you can talk to everyone you “know” on FB. I perused a few forums and irc channels after that, but it’s 2015, and I’m forced to play with my identity in other ways. RIP cyberspace.

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